As I enter the next decade, I look back to see what led me here. Was it the constant quest for success? Was it the never-ending race for validation? Or was it the pursuit of happiness? As I enter the next decade of my life, I have started realizing the importance of walking slowly. My 20s were quite fast. I changed 4 cities, from Pune to Chennai to Bangalore to Hyderabad. All in about 7 years. Got married. Hunted for a rental apartment, traveled to 2 countries, ran pillar to post searching for a burial ground for my late grandmother, and so on. Life happened all when I was busy working on my PhD research work.

In all this chaos, one thing had remained constant, the quest to excel at one thing, and that was Metallurgy. I understood the importance of not caring about the background noise in life. This noise comes from various quarters…from distant relatives, close friends, student peers, professors, and ex-colleagues. As I grow a decade older on this earth, I have started appreciating the finer things in life, especially things that are slow. I generally avoid things that are intentionally designed to be fast. That quick-commerce delivery, that one-day e-commerce convenience all are designed to give you a shot of dopamine, all while you are standing with your wallet open. Things are made fast so that the money can be extracted fast. But I want to go against the tide with a belief that I do not want to run behind a big bag of money at the cost of health, friends, and family. A life well spent in the company of friends and family that’s what I want. Each one of us has our own set of beliefs, motto, and aspirations in life. The list is endless, but there are very few who can put an actual full stop to it!

As I reflect on my previous decade on this earth, I see satisfaction, happiness, contentment, and a little bit of tummy . Among all of this chaos, I traveled, got married, graduated with a Masters and a PhD, and spent a good amount of time at a lush green campus of IIT Madras. I saw how my dreams became a reality and their value diminishing with time. Maybe that’s how fickle the human mind is designed to be. Our needs and wants are always in conflict with each other. Very few have their wants kept in check. Sometimes, success does not feel as good as it is meant to be. Things look very black and white from afar. It is only when you come closer you start to see the shades of grey in life. The sacrifices of today look routine from tomorrow. The struggles of today look like wins from tomorrow.

I write this post with a deep sense of gratitude for the privileges that I have had. The resources which are/were at my disposal. The benefit of hindsight which I have gotten after spending time with people from different backgrounds at Bekaert, GE Research, Micron Technology, and IIT Madras. The decisions of today need not necessarily dictate our distant futures. The last-minute admission at IIT Madras, the conversion from a Masters to a dual degree program, everything looks so well-planned in hindsight. But there is a dash of spontaneity in all of these events in my life.

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. —Wayne Gretzky

Success in Life. I have always been in dilemma about success in life. What is success in life when, in the end, you are going to die and cannot take any of the so-called “worldly possessions” in your afterlife? A life well-lived, a life well-spent on friends and family that in itself is a success. At best, your grandchildren will remember you if you were a famous person. If you were more famous, maybe you would be remembered for 3-4 generations in the future also. Our obsession with leaving a legacy behind needs to go away. Our well-mannered offspring…aren’t they the best legacy that can be left for future generations? Why are we obsessed with the thought of being remembered? What purpose does it serve to remain in the memories of the coming generations? Does it help you in your afterlife? I do not know. One thing I do know is that life is a roller-coaster ride. Some days, you are at the top; some days, you are at the bottom. The only thing that remains constant is your perception of whether you want to stay sad when you are at the lowest point in the ride, or you want to look forward to the next highest point on the ride? The choice is always ours.

The game of life is neither hard/challenging/happy/sad. No one deserves to enjoy it more than you. No matter where you are in life, there is always somebody more happy/sad/frustrated than you. Your highest point can be someone’s lowest point, and your lowest point can be somebody’s highest. It is all a matter of perspective. Yesterday, you were in a car, today you are in a plane, tomorrow your kin could be in a cycle…you never know.

Among all of this, one thing I observe remains constant: the ability to take calculated risks in life. I left a good job to join a post-graduate course at IIT Madras, which I later converted to a much longer course. The initial commitment of 2-year program became a transformative journey of 6 years for PhD at IIT Madras. Somebody who used to dread the thought of getting engrossed in heavy, hardbound textbooks started enjoying reading them through the eyes of a novice student. Professor and library. On a random rainy day, I was stuck at the library. This was the day which changed my perspective towards teaching and teachers. All my life, I have been under this childish impression that my teachers know everything and do not require any further study. I was surprised when I saw one of the professor from my department sitting at the library table and reading a textbook! It was a day of epiphany for me, and I learned that teachers are also human and that there is only so much a professor can understand. This universe is infinite, and we cannot make sense of everything everywhere all at once!

Going back to the topic of risks in life…calculated risks are the cornerstone of success in life. A life spent without any risks can lead to frustration in old age. We become old not because there are more candles on our birthday cake but because we no longer want to play with friends. I know that it gets challenging to make new friends as we grow old, but a company of friends can also mean the difference between life enjoyed versus the life just spent. Mediocrity is good in life only up to a certain extent. Too much of anything loses its importance sooner or later. It is good to be obsessed with certain things in life, but never-ending obsession should be avoided. I have seen people ruining their personal as well as financial conditions due to obsession over an extra research publication, that extra mark in an exam, or that extra medal around the neck. Everything has a time in which it should be taken care of.

Whatever the case may be, never stop playing.

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another, unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. —Anais Nin